O god.
I don’t want to end up like a certain breed of girl i have been encountering repeatedly in the blogosphere. This breed of girl lives an attractive kind of life with much color and sparkle- the glorious abandon, the sex, the attention, the madness, the hedonism. When one is bored, has a lot of energy and cannot focus or expend it on things worthwhile, all of the above mentioned seem very attractive. So you look at those around you, who are so close yet so far and wish you were them. Yet, what is also obvious in the lives of these girls and perhaps it is all the more attractive because of it, is the loneliness, the dissatisfaction, the inability, after a point, to act as per better judgment, even when they can see, with their perfectly functioning faculties of reason, that it makes sense to be a bit more patient, a bit more conservative, a bit more focused on building a life than merely living in the moment. Perfectly good girls, from perfectly good families, instilled with all the good values, blessed with all the advantages of intelligence, reasonably functional homes, comfort, good looks and a shining school record, all of them degenerating into vapid, star chasing, ladder climbing, self pimping bastard women of the 2000s.
However, I find that I am precariously sliding towards that edge and am in severe danger of falling off. There seems to be nowhere else to go.
I don’t want to end up like a certain breed of girl i have been encountering repeatedly in the blogosphere. This breed of girl lives an attractive kind of life with much color and sparkle- the glorious abandon, the sex, the attention, the madness, the hedonism. When one is bored, has a lot of energy and cannot focus or expend it on things worthwhile, all of the above mentioned seem very attractive. So you look at those around you, who are so close yet so far and wish you were them. Yet, what is also obvious in the lives of these girls and perhaps it is all the more attractive because of it, is the loneliness, the dissatisfaction, the inability, after a point, to act as per better judgment, even when they can see, with their perfectly functioning faculties of reason, that it makes sense to be a bit more patient, a bit more conservative, a bit more focused on building a life than merely living in the moment. Perfectly good girls, from perfectly good families, instilled with all the good values, blessed with all the advantages of intelligence, reasonably functional homes, comfort, good looks and a shining school record, all of them degenerating into vapid, star chasing, ladder climbing, self pimping bastard women of the 2000s.
However, I find that I am precariously sliding towards that edge and am in severe danger of falling off. There seems to be nowhere else to go.
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