I apologize, I need to rehearse my lines some more and get into character

I have an employee (yes, someone I could get fired) who is v.pally at work yet hates being caught as a plain clothes man. Such a fun guy - with a deliberately cultured twinkle in his eye, exhibiting the natural people-pleasing and associated bull-shit skills, that compensate for his lack of diligence and amount to making him a good leader. But bump into him at a canteen, outside of work hours and the man virtually sinks into a puddle of mud on the floor, next to his Bermuda shorts and his flip flops. Apparently, he can't get a hold of himself in front of me outside of work, because I've caught him out of character. Some people take the 'world's a stage' thing pretty seriously.

Anyway, the university (which is also my workplace) is commencing and for some reason, all the male graduands insist on doing so wearing the same crisp black shirt with slick white stripes and pointy black leather shoes, under their gaudy robes. Everyone mirrors everyone in mirror city, since people play their part as fashionable citizens most sincerely. Good thing for me is, this startling uniformity actually breaks the monotony of these otherwise uneventful, feeling-free ceremonies. I'm so v.glad I chose to fly to Amreeka last July and miss my own graduation; I look horrible in pinstripes.